Half-Way Mark, Coming January 2013

Today marks the half-way mark of my pregnancy. Are you surprised? If you have seen me lately, you certainly shouldn’t be! A month ago my baby belly really popped and it has just got bigger and bigger since then, so it really is no secret. I just haven’t been good at keeping up with the social-online world recently. With all the changes in my life it just felt good to sit back, soak it all in, and enjoy it. Plus, how exactly do you put into words your inner most thoughts about the biggest life changing event you have ever gone through? The excitement, worry, uncertainty, anticipation; words never seemed to do it justice. So I just enjoyed every second this baby has been growing inside me and waited until it felt right to share with the world that Matt and I are adding on to our little family. But it’s right now and I’m ready. Matt and I are having a baby and we are SO very excited.

Let me share a little bit of our ‘baby’ story.

I was excited to start our family from the day we got married, let’s be honest. Matt, not so much. He definitely wanted to wait a little while before we had kids and if I was truly honest with myself, I so was not ready to have kids when we were first married. Thinking back, I could not have coped with the stress of school and tiredness of pregnancy at the same time.  Women who do are saints in my eyes.

Last October, Matt and I went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple to do sealings and celebrate our one year anniversary. The sealer, for some reason or another, started up a conversation with Matt and I, even though the room with full of other people. He asked how long we had been married and I excitedly told him 1 year on the dot. He then reminded us of our sealing a year before, in the exact same room, and how the Lord has a strong desire for us to grow our little family. I, of course, loved his advice. But I think it really helped to get Matt thinking in that same direction.

It was just a couple weeks later that we returned to the temple, this time to the Provo Temple. As we were sitting in the temple, I had the strongest impression that it was time for Matt and me to start our family. However, I didn’t exactly know if I was being influenced by my own strong desire so I didn’t share it with Matt at that time.

A few weeks later we returned again to the Provo Temple and I had the same, strong impression that Matt and I were to start our family. This time I shared it with Matt and he agreed that it felt like the right time for us.  

Call us super naïve, but we totally thought that once we started trying to get pregnant, we would get pregnant right away! When the first month passed and I wasn’t pregnant, I was very surprised. I think Matt was a little relieved. Although we both felt it was right, I had much more time to process and prepare mentally.

The next couple months passed and what do you know, nothing. Each month when I wasn’t pregnant, I would get frustrated and sad. I knew the Lord wanted us to start our family. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting pregnant. I say this as if it was a year that had gone by, it was really only four months. But those four months felt longer than anything else. I went through so many pregnancy tests during that time, anxiously hoping for the best. Looking back, this time was much needed for us. This time has helped us have so much gratitude to the Lord for the little baby we are bringing into this world. It also gave Matt some adjusting time to get used to the idea of being a dad. By this time, he truly was sad with me that we were not getting pregnant.

This brings us to May. Mothers day came and made me a little bit depressed. Typically it would have been the first day I would have tried a pregnancy test, but I forbid myself from taking one that day. I did not want the news that I was not a mother. I would not let myself have any in the house because I knew I would cave and take one. So they day came and went and all day I had the thoughts in the back of my mind, just wondering if maybe this was our month.

On Monday after work I went to do my weekly grocery shopping and picked up a pregnancy test that I was planning to take later that week. On the way home from the grocery store I called my sister, Robyn, to share with her my frustrations. I told her I was positive I wasn’t pregnant that month. I didn’t even think I was going to take the test that day. I thought I would wait a few more days.

Well, I don’t have very much patience. The minute I got home, I took the test. Matt was upstairs putting our groceries away when I yelled for him to come down. Once again, I don’t have very much patience. There was no way I was waiting to tell him. It was amazing to see that pregnancy tests do work and that it IS possible for two lines to appear!! I ran over to my parents house, only to find Haley and her friend in the kitchen. They were the first we told. We then called our parents of course to share our good news. And well, that was the start of this wonderful adventure of pregnancy!

Some woman say pregnancy goes by very slow, perhaps it is the anticipation. That is not the case for me. This pregnancy is FLYING by! I wish it would slow down!  Well this post is long enough, but now that the world knows Matt and I are having a baby, expect lots more posts on all the fun details.  

Oh, speaking of exciting things, Matt and I have our gender ultrasound at 11:00 tomorrow morning. We can't wait to find out if we are having a boy or a girl!